MySpace: Bringing people together, whether they like it or not.

“Your never going to believe who I found on MySpace today!”

“Ok, I give..who?”

“{Insert name of guy I graduated with here}”

“No shit?”

“Yeah, and I also found {Insert names of about five people I graduated with here, the last of which was a chick I remember disliking.}”

“Ugh dude, there are reasons I moved away after graduation, and you just named, like, four of them.”

“Yeah, but don’t worry. She looks even skankier than she did in high school.”


That’s why I love you, brother of mine. You always know exactly what to say.

donkey love...

“Which is worse: A man fucking a donkey or a woman fucking a donkey?”

“Woman, definitely woman.”

“Why? Why do you think a woman fucking a donkey is worse than a man fucking one?”

“Well, its simple physical cleanliness. A man can easily wash his schlong after something like that, but a woman…well, its not as easy. There’s not a douche big enough to clean away that kind of yuck.”

Just a friendly warning…

Next time you’re having wild monkey sex and can’t seem to find any of the numerous bottles of lube you own...use baby oil.

Just do me a favor and make sure the bathroom door is open before you put the baby oil to good use. Because after the wild monkey sex, all you wanna do is take a shower and pass out so you can dream of having wild monkey sex all over again. But do you have any idea how hard it is to turn a doorknob when your hands are covered in baby oil?

I do. I just learned this lesson the hard way. (umm…no pun intended.) So trust me on this one: Leave the bathroom door open.

time for a change

I’m sure the few of you that still bother to check my blog will notice the changes. The only answer I have for this is…I got bored. The past couple of months have been very busy for me and blogging was put to the back burner. As a matter of fact, I thought about just deleting the whole thing. I mean, why bother, right? I’m updating about once a month so really there is no good reason for readers to keep checking for a new post. But for some reason the thought of deleting my blog made me incredibly sad. I like having this little space of the internet all to myself and if it makes me happy, shouldn’t I find time to post more often?

So with the new design is a promise to myself. I promise to find time to post at least twice a week. Even if it is all just mindless drivel.