What did my family do to piss off the universe?

Thursday – My mom calls to tell me that my me-me (maternal grandmother) has been in a car accident. Apparently she is fine but her car is damaged and will not start.

Friday – Billabong calls to tell me that my youngest brother, Cordy, had to go to the ER because he was bit by a mouse while trying to save Jack, his kitten from a sticky trap. Doctor put him on UBER-antibiotics and said that he should be fine.

Saturday – Billabong called again to let me know that my mom and dad had gone to take care of my granny (paternal grandmother)…because she was bit by a rattlesnake. She apparently jerked her hand back before the snake could sink its fangs in too far so she was lucky and able to avoid that whole poisonous venom thing.

Sunday – Call from my mom again. Cordy got into a fight and has a black eye…but you should see the other kid.

I’m starting to worry that I might be next…